You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
no you cant smoke seaweed
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Randomize
