Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
