Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Randomize
