he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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