I wanna passion pit in your ass
My underwear smells like fireworks.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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