We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
