That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
