You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
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i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
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I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
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