I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
