I wannas sexs uuuuu
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
