I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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