Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Randomize
