Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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