you turned your livingroom into a bong?
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
