that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
can u get pink eye on your cock?
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
