My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Are my feet made of real feet?
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
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