At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
