I'd wear matching sweaters with you
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
no you cant smoke seaweed
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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