C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Randomize
