She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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