i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
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