so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Randomize
