I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Randomize
