i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
