This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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