come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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