Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
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