y did u give ur computer a hand job?
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
