You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
