yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
