u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
3pm strippers are depressing
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize