I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
