omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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