Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
30 People Reveal The Moment They Realized: ‘Oh Sh*t, I’m An A**hole’
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
You may now shotgun with the bride
30 Tiny Celebrity Tattoos You’ll Want To Run Out And Copy ASAP
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".