you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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