i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Randomize
