dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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