As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
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He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
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It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
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