I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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