you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
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