Screwed.edu
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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