woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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