ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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