it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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