i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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