why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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