8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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