looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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