she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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