drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Randomize
