Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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