Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
