hotel room ftw
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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