I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Randomize
