Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
