I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
