oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
