Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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