Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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