Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
