Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
