idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
