I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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