Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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