Swine flu is the new snow day.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
